This one’s on me, fix you for free.
This is so me when I’m not at work or school.
“Your vagina is like a Rubik’s cube. When I’m solving it, it’s awesome, but then it breaks, and I get sad.”
I wish this was an actual sign at my work.
Dad: You sound like a crackhead (referring to my sniffles caused by allergies).
Me: I would be much more likely to do coke than crack.
Dad: I never did figure out what the difference between crack and coke is.
Me: Seriously? Would you like me to explain it to you?
Dad: Please do.
My dad: If you noticed it [referring to the beaver figurine on my desk] was out of place, it’s because I took it and placed it next to my computer last night.
Me: Okay…
My dad: With you being gone so much, I have taken to talking to it. For example, (bad imitation of a beaver’s voice) “What are you having for dinner tonight?” (return to normal voice) “Oh, you know, just some spaghetti.” (beaver voice)”That sounds delicious, but I’m having some wood.”
Me: This is why you need a dog.
My dad: No, this is why I need a pet beaver.
NAME: John Wayne Gacy (AKA The Killer Clown)
ACTIVITY/ # OF VICTIMS: 33 (1972-1978)
CHILDHOOD: He was a timid boy who was openly criticized by his father for wanting to play with girls and garden with his mother.
ADULTHOOD: He was a community and business leader as well as a clown for kids’ parties. He was charged with sexual assaulting two young boys and spent a year in prison, missing his father’s funeral and causing his wife to divorce him.
VICTIMS: Young men
METHOD OF KILLING: Strangulation
MOBILITY: Place-specific
MOTIVATION: He wanted to have sex with the young men he picked up, but he felt guilty about his homosexuality and ended up killing them.
FANTASY: N/A
PARAPHILIA: Sadism, pedophilia
TYPEOLOGY: Hedonistic
BIOLOGICAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDERS: None
CHARACTER TRAITS: He seemed to be an outstanding citizen, often good at persuading others.
TRIAL DEFENSE: Not guilty by reason of insanity – The prosecutor presented that his meticulous planning in addition to the stability of the life he led proved his sanity, and the jurors agreed.
OTHER INFORMATION: He was sentenced to the death penalty and executed on May 10, 1994 by lethal injection.
I HATE CLOWNS.
